FMera, Week of June 13:

Here's my weekly review of a few songs from the Billboard Top 100 Singles. Hope you enjoy! Click on the song titles to open them in Spotify.

1. Blurred Lines: There's an interesting trend I've been noticing lately on the Billboard charts, which is that while most songs in the top 100 have about an equal chance of being super-successful and falling into obscurity, the songs by less famous artists have a much, much higher success rate in that regard, even though there are very few songs by untested properties in the top 100. Robin Thicke, whoever he is, is just the latest example of that trend, after Macklemore, Bauuer, Psy, et cetera. 
In terms of the song itself, I think the R&B-aping style is partially successful, and I think the song is catchy enough to merit pop-radio play despite its slightly unorthodox style. I also think some of the song's gender politics are a bit backward; with cringeworthy lyrics that objectify and then smirk at their own objectification. But I don't necessarily think it's that much worse than other songs on the top 100 in that regard; and I certainly don't think I'm the guy to pass judgement on an otherwise mostly harmless pop ditty. I think this edginess works against the song quite a bit, though, because it's such an otherwise chaste throwback tune that the edgy lyrics seem out of place.
It's interesting how little this song sounds like anything new. There are obvious '90s influences at work here: Janet Jackson, Blackstreet, Maxwell. And there are some '70s influences too: A sort of Jackson Five-esque disco-swing feel to the production. It's as if listeners are so desperate for a break from modern pop sound they're looking to music's past for inspiration. Wait, why did I say "as if?" That's exactly what's happening. Why else would the top 5 hits be this, a white rapper, Daft Punk, Justin Timberlake, and Nelly? That sounds an awful lot like the turn of the millenium to me. (12/20)

11. We Can't Stop: Who is this "Mike Will Made It" person and what has he done with Miley Cyrus? "Trap" Rap is all the rage recently, and the producer "Mike Will Made It" has been leading the battle, producing songs by everyone from Rihanna to Drake to, well, Miley Cyrus, apparently. I've never been a huge fan of the former Ms. Montana, but I'm a definite "Party In The USA" apologist, and I think her brand of ultra-bubblegum country can be great for certain situations. But this new song, "We Can't Stop"... I have no idea what to do with this. I guess the first thing to make clear is that the song is awful. I have a feeling that some people will be blindsided by the fact that this song is completely, utterly different from the rest of Cyrus' discography and will forgive how cringingly horrible it is, but make no mistake, it's bad. An example of lyrics delivered completely, utterly straight: "To my homegirls here with the big butts / Shaking it like we at a strip club / Remember only God can judge us / Forget the haters cause somebody loves ya / And everyone in line in the bathroom / Trying to get a line in the bathroom / We all so turnt up here / Getting turnt up yea yea." That's some genuinely abysmal lyricism. And the production is as bad as everything else I've heard from Will Made It, a tinny, cheap-sounding mishmash of aesthetics and moods that falls completely flat. But I don't blame Cyrus, she's obviously trying something new with her music, and that's almost always admirable. No, I blame you, Mike Will Made It, because you are a horrible producer and you have been ruining radio-rap for long enough already. Go away. And taxi man: When this song comes on the radio, turn it off. I don't care who's putting their hands up. And yes, I did listen to that song eight times while writing this. What? It was research! (1/20)

61. Crazy Kids: Oh god. Ke&ha... AND Will.i.am...on ONE SONG? I'm not sure the world is ready for that. Luckily for my sanity and the world's, will.i.am is confined to one mostly meaningless verse, although it does contain some insane garble-speech madness that can be heard at two minutes and eleven seconds in... and please, don't listen to the song, but listen to this. It's crazy. I think someone must have realized the glory of will.i.am and Ke%ha in one room was too much for the world to take, because the official release subs in "Juicy J," who is much less insane. As for the non-guest-verse parts of the song, I have a feeling this will be similar to "Die Young" in that I won't like it, exactly, but I will listen to it constantly. There's something about the mix of guitar-strums, whistle riffs, synths, and mumbled half-raps that's just eminently LISTENABLE. I can't explain it. Wait; yes I can: I just want to hear will.i.am's insane mumble-talk again. (7/20)

98. Sweater Weather: Man, who'd have thought the lowest reaches of the Billboard charts would be such a good place to find third-wave Pitchfork music? That probably requires some clarification for new readers. First wave Pitchfork refers literally to bands that Pitchfork likes. Specifically, the most hipstery of those bands: Animal Collective, Ariel Pink, Bon Iver, Arcade Fire, Fiona Apple... that kind of thing. Second wave pitchfork refers to the bands that rip those bands off: Mumford and Sons, Monsters and Men, Regina Spector. Third wave pitchfork, then, is the bands ripping those off; but often smaller-scale, less-famous bands. Basically, it's like how punk rock came in three waves: First, the "real" stuff like Sex Pistols, then all the stuff that ripped the Sex Pistols off, then third, all the tiny garage-punk bands that popped up that basically just sounded like the Sex Pistols anyway. Point is, where First-Wave Pitchfork is thematically dense and frequently brilliant; but not great iPod listening; and where Second-Wave Pitchfork was too commercialized and cynical, Third Wave Pitchfork hits the perfect sweet spot; basically, it sounds like first wave without all the pesky meaning and thought. It's exactly the kind of thing pop radio should have more of, and between this great song and the excellent Safe And Sound by Capitol Cities, it looks like there's shaping up to be a lot of it. (18/20)

Quick Takes:

26. 22 (Taylor Swift): If Lena Dunham's "Girls" was on ABC instead of cable, this would be the song playing instead of "I Don't Care."

43. Rich As F**k (Lil Wayne): The censored version of this song is like dadaist poetry.

50. Gone Gone Gone (Phillip Phillips): I never thought I'd say this, but somehow, Phillip American Idol Phillips Americans Idols, I think you're charming enough to become a real, legit pop star, in the vein of Jason Mraz or John Mayer. Lord knows you're more charming than John Mayer...

92. Levitate (Hadouken!): Last time I covered this song, I said it was the most annoying song on the Billboard charts. I'd like to clarify that it is also the most annoying song ever, and that I have listened to it more often than any other song, ever. AAAAAND LEVITAAAAATE!Did you enjoy this post? I read and respond to all comments! I am also available at my email address, SamECircleProductions@gmail.com -- If you like what you see, shoot me a note!

Pop Cultured

Welcome to the new Weblog version of Pop Cultured, written by Sam Saper, created by SamECircle Productions! I hope you enjoy reading.
Here is my post schedule:

THURSDAY: FMera, my look at the week's Billboard charts.


FRIDAY: >2Chainz (Greater Than Two Chainz). Has someone ever said this to you: "I like all genres of music, except for _____?" This column is devoted to exploring the good and bad sides of genres known primarily for the latter.


SUNDAY: PlayThis, a look at new and old music, arranged into a playlist, connected by a theme.


TUESDAY: FMera Vintage, a look back at the music popular at random weeks in the Billboard charts' history.


WEDNESDAY: Reviews of new albums.


Did you enjoy this post? I read and respond to all comments! I am also available at my email address, SamECircleProductions@gmail.com -- If you like what you see, shoot me a note!